Black Ghost

Okay, it's not bad, really. It has the potential to be something quiet good, actually. The thing is I think it needs to be a bit longer. And you need ...

Nice piece, JC! I really enjoyed your descriptions, they were very vivid. :D I found a few places that need fixing, but nothing too major. A sharp pain shot down ...

I disagree, the voice was off in some places, specifically here: He was sure that no one could see him enter the forest You should say that no one had ...

[spoiler]As for the pensieve thing, I guess she thought it was the best way to pass on that crucial info without being infodumpy or boring...but I agree that there may ...

Whence speaks the truth! Seriously, how can you compare them? I mean it's Harry Potter , compared to what, a cardboard character that plays with dragons? So yes, Harry completely ...

There really isn't enough for us to judge whether or not it was good or bad. Seriously, this is too short. I wanted to give a crit, but there really ...

Hey Dynamo! I'll start with a few specific points, and then I'll give you my general comments on plot and whatnot. :P Kai had made it to the bottom of ...

Smiling at the comparison, Clevenger watched his reflection in the glass, “Can anyone tell me what they would do in a situation like this?” Just a nitpick, really, but I ...

I turned to face my best friend, Adam Smith. He had been my best friend for quite a while, and I truly couldn’t think of anything that I did to ...

This was really good, Claudette :P . I could really feel the emotion in it, so you did a fantastic job of portraying a panic attack. I only found one ...

The cave was cold and dark. It seemed like they had been walking in this cave for hours. A cool breeze was blowing through the cave from up ahead. The ...

"Can I help you sir?" Daniel asked as he walked up to a man in his early 30's . "Not at the moment." In fiction, please spell out numbers. And ...

Honestly, I don't have much to say about this. That is, it was very good work. ^_^ A great installment, and I loved your dialogue and use of description. One ...

To be honest...this was boring. Why? Nothing really happened. There was no conflict to speak of. And to make it worse, you have a huge infodump for a first paragraph. ...

Wonderful prologue. ^_^ It had all the right elements of a good hook...action, conflict, raised questions, all very good stuff. I don't say this a lot, but I do actually ...